2013 New Years Resolutions

So, every year we all make resolutions and every year we tend to forget about them a month (or less) into the year.  But, it is still nice to do and it makes you think about what it is you want to do in your life.  So, here are mine for 2013:

• Get involved in Women in Engineering groups.  Specifically "Introduce A Girl to Engineering" and then something for myself.  Try to get PE to host something
• Be focused at work.  I am slowly getting adjusted...it seems a bit too slow to me.  Time to throw myself into it and get going...
• Keep up my PMP - make sure to get some courses, go to the meetings and keep up my certifications
• Be present with Pete - work on the relationship.  No girls, nothing is wrong with us but this should be a resolution every year - work on your relationships with all the people you love.  There is always room for improvement
• Be present with the girls - make time for each of them and have fun as often and much as I can.  Take deep breaths whenever I need them.
• Take time for me - I need this for my sanity.  Work-out (try the Tri in September), read, sleep
• Organize - this isn't the priority but by organizing I will feel less need to kill myself to clean.  Make a spot for things and stick to it.  Make it easy for Pete and the girls to follow...

I am consciously not putting in anything about weight loss. Do I need to lose weight - absolutely, do I want that to be a resolution - NO.  I do want to work-out more but this is so I will be healthy for you girls...would it be nice if that came with me not being embarrassed to get into a swim suit this summer - absolutely :)  I am human.  

Baaa Humbug

So - I am catching up on some thoughts when starting this...this one is more from last week although it is timely now too...I have a bit of baa humbug.  I love the Christmas Decorations to go up and even felt initially that we should have decorated more...initially.  Because we put our tree in our living room (which is fairly small), we move the love seat over to the door between that living room and the hall to the garage, laundry room and bathroom - everything felt more cramped. The only door in and out now had a gate on it that butts up against the gate on the stairs. Not to mention the Christmas Cards, the toys that are there anyway, the additional items for serving, etc...my house felt like a pit the whole Christmas Season!!!

I also am jonesing to have our own Christmas Day and days after Christmas.  I know I will miss some of it later on - but am just struggling with the craziness of it all.  We go to your Grandparents on Christmas Eve with all your "Daly" cousins (the Dalys and the Jones).  You play with your cousins while your aunts, uncles and we go to Cheers for a couple of drinks.  I must say I do like that - it feels relaxing.  But then we get back to your Grandparents' house and it is a whirl wind of eating, opening presents, getting into PJ's and leaving...it just feels a bit chaotic and not terribly enjoyable.   Perhaps we need to go in town earlier and have a bit more of a relaxing time at your Grandparents.  Maybe I will suggest that next year...if they let us drop you all off again ;)

Then on Christmas Morning, we rip through your presents, maybe eat something and then everyone is in the car to go to your Avo's house.  We try to have everything packed and in the car the night before so we can just go.  This doesn't let us enjoy our time together - opening presents, playing with them, perhaps having a nice relaxing breakfast together...  I know if we stayed, people would want us at Dottie's - and that would be nice. But I fear your dad would think I wanted to stay home for that - and that isn't true...and he would be resentful of another holiday with my family.

It is not at all that I don't love your Avo's and there are definitely perks to being there.  I actually took a couple of naps with you this time and I don't cook or have much to do.  But we come home and have all the presents to put away, you guys to take care of and things are just as chaotic.  I do have to get better about returning things while in New Jersey, I think.  That would at least take care of some things. This goes back to living in the moment.  I need to cherish this time with everyone as we won't always have it...but I can't help but be anxious for times when you guys are a bit more independent and perhaps requesting a bit more time at home is seen just as that and not avoiding your New Jersey family.

So where is the advice in this post...it seems like I am just complaining.  I think my advice is this - you need to create your own traditions.  This is easier said than done - if roles were reversed and we were down in Jersey, I am sure I would want to come up as soon as possible to see "my" family.  I also know that in the future, we won't get down as much because you will have sports and activities on the weekends.  So again, we are living in the moment so you see as many people as possible.  And also, I need to let some things go.  So we live in a bit of a mess for a bit - we all had fun and saw family.

OK - my advice is this - if you and your family don't live near us when you are grown, show me this blog and then tell me what kind of schedule you want to make to come see us :)  I swear I will be open and only complain about it to your father when we are alone ;)

In the Moment

I recently answered a friend's facebook question regarding secrets of success (she just started a life-coaching business...funny that I have at least 2 friends that have done this)...anyway, my answer was "to be in the moment."  The concept is simple - when at work - focus on work, when at home - focus on home.  But how well do we all do this?  In fact, I am not doing it now, I am at work and writing this thought down.  Granted, it is New Years Eve, no one is in and I have not yet fully engaged in my new job (I just started a couple of weeks ago).  I know within the week, I should be pretty occupied...but it is still slow.  But enough excuses...as it is December 31 - there is one of my New Year's Resolutions.

What got me to thinking about being in the moment is Lilly's current sleep pattern...which sucks (sorry Lil).  You are 3, and for some reason have NO desire to sleep all night in your own bed.  Now, most of the time this drives me nuts.  It takes me 2 hours to get you to sleep (at least) at  night...and you still end up in our bed or me in yours.  I really wish you would take your bath, read a couple of books, and let me walk out of the room so you can go to sleep.  But alas no - you throw in some requests for water, dancing, one more book, "mommy stay with me a couple more minutes"...  I am sure Super Nanny could help me break this but I think part of me enjoys it.  Seeing as I work - this is some serious 1-on-1 time for us.  I don't really mind the cuddle and occasional nap I get while lying there with you.  You are precious - as is your baby sister Bella - and I know that someday, probably far too soon, you won't want that much to do with me.  So I should soak it up.  The problem comes when I think of the dishes that are still in the sink, the lunches to be made for tomorrow, having some time with your dad, maybe read a book or watch a little tv...clean a tub...maybe get to bed at a normal hour.

Your wakings do make it near impossible to get up in the AM to workout which would be ideal.  I could get it done before everyone gets up and minimize my time at work (since I wouldn't have to work-out there). But that would mean getting up at 4:15 so I can work-out 4:30 to 5:30...and that just isn't happening at this time. So, for now, I will live in the moment.  Our house probably won't be as clean as I like it (although it will be better once the Christmas Decorations are down - baa humbug.  I probably won't get as much sleep as I like or work-out as much as I should...but I will have this time with you.  So, when you are a teenager and don't want to kiss me goodbye in front of your friends I will think back to the times when you would ask - "mama stay with me just 2 more minutes" with no idea of just how short 2 minutes is.